While family relationships can be challenging, they have the potential to be extremely fulfilling, provide that space for us to be ourselves and flourish. When they work, they fill us with the feeling of being loved and accepted.
Sometimes we lose these relationships due to arguments, misunderstanding of each other’s needs and failure to hear or see each other. Then, fear of further rejection, pride and the lack of humility creep in and it becomes more difficult to find our way back, and the longer that goes on for stubbornness and pride sets in and it feels like a sealed fate, with no choice, no way out, or back in.
When we lose one of these relations through death there is no going back. Death brings a finality that those left behind need to work through. It can be difficult to make sense of everything, and while we may believe we were the aggrieved party and the other is still alive it feels that it is okay to maintain the status quo. The embers of anger and hurt foster the belief that we can continue, and we do, but at what cost. I have recently experienced this with the passing of my father. We had become estranged due to a family argument and not been in contact for the past ten years, and he passed away last month. I shall regret my part that allowed the discord to continue for some time.
But, I will, of course, move through this but what I take away from it is to be accountable for my part in it and reconnect with my sister who is about to have her own child. I shall also empower my family, friends, and clients to avoid a similar ending with their loved ones, family, friends, or special relationships.